Paranoia Kinda Sucks Bro

      Fuck. Snow's begun to fall around here. Why must I live in Canada? How did I manage to forget to pack a jacket? I guess I really convinced myself somewhere in the back of my mind that I wouldn't be gone for this long.
      Luckily, I managed to find an abandoned building to stay the night. Electricity and heating are a no-go, unfortunately. I did find a good pit to stock lumber though, and I know how to start fires. The only problem would be acquiring said lumber. Kinda in the middle of the city here. People would notice if some lunatic kid started hacking away at trees with nothing but a switchblade.

      Pfff, people.

      Huh, you know, I never really was all that fond of being around others. I mean, Migz even knows first hand that I'm not much of a talker. Not that I'm shy or anything, I just don't like talking unless I have a good reason to. And now that I'm by myself again, I'm beginning to miss it... y'know, talking to people, laughing at jokes, all that stuff that I never really took advantage of. Maybe I should've.
      And I kept so many things to myself. I'm beginning to wonder if anybody really knew the real me. I was never big on sharing secrets, nor really caring for them whenever people chose to confide in me. Trust issues probably. God, looking back now, I wonder they really thought about me. I never meant to really come off as an asshole. That's just how I am though..

     Agghh. So many feels. I'm gonna end it here before this turns into a life story... Oh, wait... I guess this kind of is... Ahh, whatever, you know what I mean. What I basically came here to say was that my Slender Sickness has subsided, and I'm doing moderately okay. A little hungry, but that's nothing new.

     Stay safe, everyone.

On with the show

     Yup. I think I've stayed here long enough. No real clue where I'm headed next. I guess I'll just follow the wind. I'd love to say more, but I'm in a hurry to get out of here. I promise I will finish my story as soon as I find a place to settle down for the night.

     Stay safe everyone.

So... Since when is it November?

       No, seriously. Since when the fuck is it November? And who's been posting on my blog?

      Okay, okay. I should probably explain where the hell I've been all these months. Shit. Well as you can probably guess, I got Looped again. I'm not going to bother going into detail about what happened because I'm honestly a little confused myself. Basically, I was trapped in a never ending series of rooms that wouldn't let me progress until I solved whatever puzzle happened to be laid out in front of me. But the whole setup was just so... bizarre. Like a constant mind fuck all around me. And... there seemed to be a theme going on. There was always something... red... in all of the rooms.

     ...It's funny, because a lot of the answers I came up with for the puzzles were posted on here in a riddle form. I didn't really see that until I checked my email just now. By the way Migz, good luck and I hope we meet again some time.

     Anyways, I wasn't in there for more than a few hours. I figured the time would be at least somewhat fucked. But November? Late November? Really? I'm gonna find who's ever doing this and I'm going to kick their sorry ass. I can't afford to miss this much of my life.



Or, well, I guess I can now. Whatever.



     Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go lie down for a couple of days.

Round like an apple, deep like a cup,



yet all the king's horses cannot pull it up.

Until I am measured

I am not known

Yet how you will miss me

When I have flown

What does man love more than life,



fear more than death or mortal strife-




what the poor have, the rich require, 





and what contented men desire:





what misers spend, and spendthrifts save, 





and all men carry to the grave?

Migzer

     Alright, I'm taking a break from recalling painful memories (because you know, I'm just pining to get back to that), to tell you all about what is going on with Migzer.


     After he made this post I immediately started frantically running all over the city to try and find him. It wasn't too hard, considering the fact that he was practically screaming, and having his voice reach an all-time high, I'm pretty sure that anyone within a 10-mile radius would be able to hear him.

     When I did find him, he was huddled up in the corner of a long alleyway. There was a police officer there with him (I'm assuming he got called in for noise complaints) trying to coax him into getting up and heading back to the station with him. Though I doubt Migz even knew he was there. He just continued screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" over and over again. I quickly intervened.

     "Connor! There you are!" I ran up to the two and gave Migz a hug. "I was wondering where you had run off to! Come on, let's get you back to your room."

      "Do you know this man, ma'am?" Asked the police officer, giving me a weird look.

      "Oh yes! This is one of my patients from the mental health facility, Mr. Connor MacLeod. He's a bit of an escape artist, this one!" I giggled and took his shoulders and shook them... a little too hard, now that I think about it. "I'm sorry for the trouble he's caused you officer, we'll be on our way now!" I hoisted him up onto my shoulders and began to walk down the alleyway.

      "Wait just a moment!" I heard the police officer call. I'm pretty sure it took him a bit to make sense of what I had just said. I turned around, "Yes?"

      "Aren't you a little young to be a fully-fledged doctor? And as a matter of fact, where's your uniform?" He gave me a suspicious look.

      "Oh, you young police officers~! You sure know how to flatter an old gal like me! I'm sorry sonny, I'm afraid you're not quite the right age for me just yet. And as for my uniform, well... It wasn't technically my shift, but I got a call from an associate of mine saying that little Connor had gotten away again, and he had last been seen around my neck of the woods. You know how these things are, right, Mr. Big Bad Police Officer?" I gave him a flirty wink. Suddenly, his walkie-talkie went off. He had barely pulled it out of his pocket before apologizing for the misunderstanding and taking off back to his cruiser.

     I set Migz back onto the ground and slumped next to him. He had kept up the screaming through my entire "Horny Old Lady" Schtick, and was still going non-stop. Migz, if you ever read this, you've got a good set of lungs there, my friend. I tried everything to get him back to the real world; slapping him, shouting at him, and kicking him in the gut. Strangely, none of these things seemed to have any effect on him whatsoever.

     I slumped back down on the ground and started scanning the area for any blunt object I could use to maybe hit him with. This is when I finally got a good look at the alleyway around me. No windows, no doors, no trash cans, no garbage lying around. It was oddly clean. Well, of course, besides all the graffiti on the walls that repeated Migzer's real name (which I'm not even going to bother trying to write down... or even pronounce for that matter), and the words "Unlock the Truth" over and over again.

    I turned back to look at Migz. Well, he had certainly unlocked the truth alright, and I suppose it wasn't exactly all sunshines and rainbows when he did. Now the issue is finding out exactly what it was he discovered, and who I need to kill in order to do it. Oh yeah, and getting him back to the land of sanity. That too.




    ... Anyone have any ideas?

Quoth the Raven Part 3

     I'm not sure exactly when I'm gonna finish this post, or when it will go up, I'm kinda busy with helping Migz figure out who the hell he saw in the alley.



     Judy's face went completely white. Scarlett smiled at her and very kindly asked "Would you have a car by any chance? Mommy?" She nodded. Scarlett used her gun to motion her to the car port.

     Judy opened up the garage door and climbed in the drivers seat, her face still white with fear. Scarlett instructed me to sit in the passengers seat, while she went and sat behind Judy, still holding the gun at her. I felt this increasing feeling of... wrongness... the whole time we were in the car. I kept my face pressed against the window, as if I was trying to get out. But I remember what they said to each other.

     "Where do you want me... to take you?"

     "Where do you think?" She still sounded so polite and kind.

     "..."

     "Our old house, silly! Remember all the fun times we used to have there? Remember? Before we moved to the big city and you fucked all those kind gentlemen? Before you went completely batshit insane? Before you completely forgot about me? Before Raven was born?"

      I heard Judy sniffle, her next words were clouded in tears.

     "Oh God! What are you gonna do to me?"

     "What's wrong mommy? Don't you wanna relive the old days?"

      She began sobbing harder than ever.

     "Please don't do this! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"


     I heard a small giggle come from Scarlett. Then there was nothing but silence for the next couple of hours, silence only broken by the sounds of Judy's sobbing.




     Finally, we arrived. I could feel Judy trembling harder than ever as we came to a stop. I looked around. We were at an old abandoned farm house, surrounded by a giant, dying cornfield.

     "Well, go on in." chimed Scarlett, still smiling like a kid in a candy store. Judy and I both got out of our seats. Scarlett took my hand and let Judy lead us into the run down old shack. No, before you ask, this farmhouse was different from the one in the Loop.



It was bigger... slightly.



      Anyways, when we got inside, Scarlett began dancing around and twirling, as if she was five years old again. "It's perfect! It's just like it was before, isn't it mommy?" Judy awkwardly sat down on a dusty old chair, looking very uncomfortable. "Why did you make me bring you two here?" She asked, shooting a stinging glance at me. I felt as if that look she gave me, even though it lasted barely a second, meant that I was somehow to blame for all this. I suddenly didn't want to be there anymore. I tugged at the hem of Scarlett's dress "Sis... I wanna go home... I'm scared..." She looked down at me and smiled, "Don't worry Raven, we're gonna have fun! Okay?"

     She pulled our her handgun again, and casually shot Judy in the leg. I closed my eyes and turned away as she let let out a blood curdling scream that would haunt my nightmares for many years. I heard Scarlett walk over to her and do... I don't wanna know what she did really. All the while I heard sounds of screaming, and felt a tiny bit of warm blood splash onto my back. At some point I felt my way into a corner and stayed there, covering my ears until Scarlett grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around to look at the bloody pulp that was our mother. She was still breathing.

     She smiled. "Your turn."

     She handed then gun over to me. "Finish the job."

     I looked down at the broken and bloody mess on the ground. The leg that was shot was now halfway across the room. The other one was so broken and mangled... I don't wanna think about the rest. Scarlett helped me hold the gun to make sure I had a good aim.

     "Do it."

      I felt a rush of fear when she said that. I stood there frozen. I didn't know much, being a child. But one thing I knew for sure was that killing people was wrong.




Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 




     "DO IT!"


Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 


     I felt a surge of fear, like electricity, that was so over whelming that it made all my muscles immediately tense up. I had no time to stop myself before I pulled the trigger.









Wrong...?




     "See? Don't you feel better now?"

     I said nothing, staring in awe at the lifeless hunk of meat before me, wondering what I had just done. I turned to look up at Scarlett, who was smiling down at me. I felt nothing.

It was so easy. What's so wrong about killing people anyways?

      "Kinda."

      "Good. We have a lot of work ahead of us, you and I."


      She told me to go wait in the car as she cleaned up the mess, when she came back she sat in the driver's seat and took off. We swerved and swayed a lot during the long ride home. I guess she never got the chance to learn how to drive before she killed her dad. I keep thinking back to that time, and how I just sat there, staring out the window. Thinking nothing but of how easy taking a life was. And it did feel good... in a way.

      Before heading home we stopped at a dry cleaners to get ourselves cleaned up. Luckily, there was no one there but the staff, who were all but asleep, so no one questioned us when we walked in literally covered in blood.

      When we finally had our clothes dry and were back at my house, the sun was coming up. Scarlett instructed me to go straight to bed, and to tell anyone who asked that I got home at a much earlier hour. She then went back to the car. But before climbing in she turned her head towards me, smiled and said,

   

      "I'll be seeing you."



      She did end up seeing me again. And again, and again, and again. Same old story. Different "playmates." By the time I was around 9 years old, I had grown accustomed to her bimonthly visits, and almost kinda looked forward to them... in a way. But I was out of control. I was raised used to seeing death, believing that taking a person's life can be both fun and beneficial. Not knowing the repercussions. Only knowing that it's important to not get caught.

    One day, I had gotten to the point where I was so out of control, that when a girl that I went to school with starting poking fun at me, I snapped. I must've been used to criticism by then, but something about what she said just drew me over the edge. I waited until after school and followed her home. I made note of the address, then I went back home and called Scarlett.


    "Well, well, well. If it isn't my favourite little sister! What can I do for you?"


    "Hey Scar! You'll never guess what I found for us today!"

   
    "... Is it another new playmate?"


    "Uh-huh! And I wrote down her address and everything for you!"


    "Perfect! You're really getting the hang of this, aren't you Rave?"


     That night, we went over to her house and grabbed her from her room. Then we took her back to the farmhouse to kill her. As I said, I had gotten used to Scarlett killing people, and then me delivering the final blow. Just your average night for me.



     But the next day was very different. I had never witnessed any sort of emotional response to death besides joy before; and the girl we killed... I didn't think anyone would miss her. But that day... people were in tears. I had never seen anything like it. Kids in my class... her friends... her best friends... I couldn't stand it. They kept having to leave the room to cry out in the hall. For the first time I felt... disgusting... evil.

     Durring recess, I decided to go up to one and ask what she was so upset about. It was common news all over the school that the girl had gone missing, and the fact that I was asking one of her best friends what was wrong, caused a couple of heads to turn. She screamed in my face. I don't know what she said, and it didn't matter. The amount of emotion that was caused over the death of one small, insignificant person overwhelmed me. I turned and walked away from her, and as soon as I was out of everyone's sight, I hopped the fence and ran to my house.

   




Oh geez, long post is long. I shall finish the story... hopefully tomorrow... possibly later. I'm a little drained right now. That was a lot of recalling of old memories that I just did for you guys, and I'm all cried out.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry some more to Migz! :D






    

 

Quoth the Raven Part 2

     Sorry I didn't upload this yesterday. Writing that last post just... I needed a break is all. Anyways:



     Yes, Scarlett came for me next. Not to kill me though, no. She wanted to save me. I guess after living all those years, knowing nothing but loneliness and anger, she managed to convince herself that nothing else existed. Nothing else but the brief moment of bliss that came to her when she took her father's life. She must've figured that I was no better off than her, and I deserved a chance to feel that feeling of overwhelming satisfaction.

     The day I first met her... It's so vivid and strong in my mind, as if it had just happened a couple of minutes ago. I remember I was in the basement playing on my NES with my brother, though, I didn't really know what I was doing. I remember hearing a knock on my door. I figured it was just one of the neighbours or a relative stopping in for a visit. I normally would've gotten up and rushed to see who it was, but I was in the 'zone' at that moment. I could hear my dad answering the door. I didn't hear another word after that until I heard him calling for me to come upstairs. He used that tone of voice that I only ever hear when I was in trouble, so I paused my game and went up the stairs as slowly as possible. I remember noticing a very strong silence over the whole house, but at the time I figured that it had something to do with my overwhelming sense of fear.

     When I had finally made it to the door, I noticed a very calm yet, very unsure look on my father's face. I looked at the woman in the door. My first thought was that she was very pretty, and therefore she must've been a very nice person. I had somehow ingested that message from watching Beauty and the Beast, can't say I know why. She must've noticed me looking up at her with all kinds of curiosity in my eyes, because she smiled at me. I smiled back. At the time, I thought that smile meant something good. I thought it meant I had made a new playmate. If only I had known what it's real purpose was.

     My father spoke; "Raven..." I looked down at the floor. He was using that tone of voice again. "There's something we've been meaning to tell you..." as he said this, I realized that he wasn't angry at me, but I had the feeling I was in for some very bad news. I continued to stare at the floor. "We wanted to wait until you were older, but I suppose..." He paused, I assumed he was shooting a glance over at the lady. "... I suppose there's really no point in hiding it now." I looked up at him. I had never seen him look like this before, I was more curious than frightened now. "Raven, this... this is your sister Scarlett." I felt both relieved and happy. I had always wanted a sister.

     Both my father and Scarlett went on to explain how I came to be, and how I ended up where I was. I more or less understood what they were talking about. I just continued nodding my head and smiling at Scarlett whenever I got the chance. When they were confidant that I understood she finally asked "So, the reason I came here was because I just missed my little sister, and I was wondering if I could maybe spend a day or two with her?"

     My parents quickly agreed, saying that we could spend as much time as we need to catch up. I remember that we took the bus to get around, because my parents never let me on the bus, I was very excited. We rode around town all day. She took me to a store and bought me some ice cream and a teddy bear, which I burned years later. Finally, when it was starting to get late out, Scarlett said that we had to go to one more stop before heading back to her place.

     "We're picking up our new playmate." She smiled. "You've never met our mother before, have you Raven?" I shook my head. "Well, would you like to?" I nodded. At the time, I didn't understand why our mother kicked us out. I thought that maybe once we were all back together, we could all live at my house and happily ever after. Childhood ignorance. Gotta love it.

     We came to our last stop. Some old slum in the east side of town. I found it a little intimidating, but I managed to occupy my brain with the thought of finally meeting my mother. I remember walking down there, probably with the stupidest smile on my chocolate-covered face. Considering how ridiculous I must've looked, and the fact that Scarlett was wearing a bright, lacy spring dress, I don't think we exactly blended in with the rest of the people there, who were giving us odd looks.

     We finally arrived at a run-down looking townhouse, complete with smashed windows, bricks that had fallen off, incomprehensible graffiti and of course, the classic bullet holes in the front door. Scarlett knocked on the door and whispered to me, "This is where the real fun begins!" She had said it in such a way that even in my ignorant 6 year-old mind I was thinking that something wasn't quite right with how she said it.

      The door was answered by a grumbling middle-aged woman. I remember the distinct smell of alcohol, and something else that kind of smelled like skunk. Despite her old age, she was wearing extremely high heels and very revealing clothing. What must've used to be very vibrant red hair was now faded into a dull sort of pink. She first looked at Scarlett, then down at me. "Oh... you two... Whaddya want?" she groaned. Scarlett just smiled, "I think it's time for a family reunion, don't you?" She then reached into her purse and pulled out what looked like a small handgun.


Bleh, I don't have time to write anymore. I'll try and wrap this up tomorrow. It's taking longer than I thought.
 

Quoth the Raven Part 1

     Hey, sorry this has taken so long to post up, but I haven't had much time to really write about anything, much less something as difficult as this is going to be. Sorry if things don't make much sense in this either, Migz and I have been traveling around non-stop as of late, so I'm rather tired. Some good news is that my Slender-sickness finally subsided! So there's something (and yes, Raggedy, I have some of that sludge shit saved for you. It was surprising easily contained).

   

     Well, no point in wasting any more time. Migz, if I randomly burst into hysteric tears, this is why.


 
     This basically all started the day I was born. I very briefly lived in a tiny home with both my elder sister, Scarlett Rose and my mother, Judy Rose. My mother was... well, she was a whore, to put it bluntly. She never had a great liking for children, even my sister, who she had somehow put up with for ten whole years. But when I was born, I guess something in her mind just snapped. For the short amount of time I was with her, I was never fed, treated terribly, and she had even given me an insulting name; "Raven," which I have since had legally changed for... well, we'll get to that later. She named me after that famous poem The Raven, in which the bird is depicted as a sort of tormenter, a "bird of the devil," and I guess that's what she thought of me.

     And when I say I very briefly lived there, I mean it. I don't even remember the house or what my mother looked like. Almost a week into my life, she had kicked my sister and I out. Luckily, Scarlett decided to do the smart thing and ask our fathers to hopefully take us in. We first went to her father; a very successful business man who had a wife but no children. He said he'd be glad to take one of us in, but they didn't want more than one child in the house. He was both kind and greedy, but kindness can be expensive. And I guess in the world of business, greed always comes first. This meant that we had to go and talk to my father; a middle class working man with a wife and a son. Lucky for me, he was a moderately kind man, and willing to take me in; regardless of the fact that his family would know he cheated.

     For about 6 years I lived happily with that family. I never knew anything about my mother or my sister, or what had become of either of them. Besides my bright red hair, I looked just like my father. I had no reason to think I was any different from them. I was happy. I was a happy ignorant child, spoiled beyond her wildest dreams and unaware of the terrors of the real world. I can't remember a time I was happier than I was those first 6 years of my life.

     As for Scarlett, things were very different. She didn't have the blessing of a fading infant's memory.  She clearly remembered how terrible our moth... Judy was to her for all those years. She was constantly neglected and abused; either by Judy herself, or her "clients." Things didn't get much better at her new home either. Her father and his wife were barely ever home. She was constantly by herself, and she was too shy to make any friends at school. She got picked on so much that it got to the point were she had to be home schooled.

     Eventually, her father and his wife got divorced. The wife didn't want to have to spend all her money taking care of her, so she was left with her father and a nanny. Things only got worse from there. Her father had stopped coming home from work, only showing up maybe once a week smelling like booze, sweat, and god knows what else. The man who had been homeschooling her left as soon as he had stopped being payed, and the nanny just left one day and never returned. Scarlett was completely alone.

     Around the time she turned 14, she started lashing out. During her father's absences, she would turn furniture, break antiques, smash windows, and tear out door and walls. I don't know why, but she was never punished for this. My guess is that her father was either too busy or too high to notice. So the violence in her heart escalated to the point where she took Buds, her father's pet cat, skinned him alive, ripped off all of his limbs, and left him to bleed to death in her father's room. The sight of it when he finally came home must've given him a heart attack. Finally, he was convinced she needed help and sent her to an institution. However, she quickly escaped, and the loneliness and anger in her heart had built up so much that she went back to her father's house, and waited for him to come home.

     On the day he finally showed up, she hid in the basement as she knew his exact schedule for whenever he was home; shower, eat, go to bed. She waited a couple hours down there until she was confidant that he was asleep. Then, she took the knife that he had used to cut his steak, slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom, crept over to his bedside, and cut out his throat. Once he was dead, she wanted to make sure she left a nice, big mess for the police to find. She separated him into what must've been a million tiny pieces, and scattered him all over his newly refurnished house.

   


     But she didn't want to stop there.



I'll continue the rest of this, perhaps tomorrow. It's hard... reliving these memories, even if they aren't mine. No, I haven't even gotten to the good part yet.

Enough of These Corny Puns

     Ugh, man I feel like shit. Ever since I woke up this morning I've been puking up this weird black tar shit. What's it called? Slendersludge or something? Well, it could use a little salt. Thankfully, I think my stomach's calmed down enough for me to explain a bit about what happened last night (or at least, what I think was last night). I don't really know what happened after I blacked out, but Migzer put up a post about it, so you can read his interpretation of it there.

     So, as I mentioned before, I foolishly ran head-long into a looped-up cornfield in a sad attempt to get away from... whatever the hell was staring at me. Ugh, I feel like such a dumbass. I mean, I was perfectly safe indoors, what was I thinking? Anyways, everything around me felt like it was standing still, except for the wind, there was a constant gust of it coming from all directions that, with every passing second, seemed to carry a scream or two on it. I'm starting to wonder if any of those scream were mine. They all sounded so familiar.

     After I made my last post, I decided that the only way I would figure this out is if I maybe walked in the direction of where the screams were coming from. Yeah, bad idea. I know. But I didn't want to be aimlessly running around a never-ending plane of existence if I had no idea what I was running from. And as I got closer, the screams became louder and clearer. Eventually, I realized that they weren't just meaningless sounds. I realized that they were actually screaming something at me.

    I eventually found the source of the screams. I didn't like it, but I found it. A bunch of hooded figures lying on the ground, rolling around and twitching like a bunch of madmen. Yeah, this stuff came out of my freaking nightmares. And when I got close enough, I was able to make out what they were saying. Things like "STOP KILLING US" "MURDERER!" "WHY DID YOU KILL ME?" "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

    At that moment, I realized where I heard those voices before. But I don't have the energy to write, or even think about it right now.

     The hooded victims had begun to rise from the ground when they saw me coming near. As I got closer, I could see that they were brandishing what looked like farming tools. I stopped in my tracks, hoping that they might stop too, but they had begun to slowly inch towards me with no signs of stopping. And even as they had begun to lift up their weapons, ever so slowly inching towards me, they wouldn't stop screaming for their lives. Even as the expressions on their faces changed from fear to anger and determination. They had me surrounded, they were slowly closing in on me, holding their weapons high in the air with what seemed to be nothing but vengeance in their minds...

     And that's all I remember. Next thing I know, it's daylight and I'm on the same rooftop I was on before. I sit up and look to see someone standing over me, asking how I was doing. I try to respond, but as soon as I open my mouth my stomach lurches and I hurl out a bunch of tar-ish black shit. By the time I'm able to talk, Migz had already left and came back with a bottle of water. I of course thanked him for saving my hide. Apparently Phobos was there too? No clue what happened to him. I supposed I'll check his blog later on, when I'm feeling up to it.

     For now, I think I'm just gonna lay low for a week or so. Don't expect to hear much from me for a while. I need some serious downtime after that nightmare.


When I'm ready, I promise I'll explain everything.

████████████this place is actually ve████████████ting. I feel... almost at home. It's just l████████████████████████████████████saved my li████████████████████████████████████

Yes... I thi████████████used to this place. I kinda enjoy the screaming. It reminds me of s sim████████████ime. Back when I mur████████████le with my favourite si████████████elt like I could take on the world. Make them scre████████████ay. I can finally kill again.

Don't you remember Julia? Remember ████████████d times? Remember when YOU KILLED ME Y████████████ING WHORE! I'LL KILL YOU ████████████OU I'LL KILL YOU! SLOWLY AND PAIN████████████ke how you killed me. I hope you████████████████████████ents my beloved sister. I will ████████████d I will kill you!

Why I Hate Corn

     Umm... So... Has it been, like, insanely dark outside all day for anyone else?
 
     Seriously, why haven't I seen the sun for the past, like 10 hours? I mean, last I checked it was morning. I'm checking again and... It's still morning...? Has it really been only and hour since my last post? What time is it?

     Wait... why are the hands on my watch moving back and forth like a goddamn metronome? WHERE THE HELL AM I??


           kill


     Oh yeah, so you guys are probably wondering what the hell happened to me in my last post. Well, since I doubt I'll be getting out of here any time soon, I guess I have a chance to explain in a bit more detail.

     So, a couple nights ago (at least... I think it was only a couple) I was setting up camp on some random rooftop, as you do, preparing to get some regular ol' shuteye. I fall asleep, have a terribly realistic nightmare (which I will not go into detail with), and wake up on an old rotting and dusty floor in some abandoned old house in the middle of no where. I have no idea where I am, and the sun is out. East. Morning. So, I do what any regular blogger does: Pull out my laptop, quickly jot down my surroundings and post it up for future reference. Though, I guess it isn't really much use to me, seeing as it barely says anything, besides the whole cornfield thing. Hell, I could tell you the same thing right now, considering I'm freaking trapped inside of it with no hope for escape thus far.



judge



     Anyways, as I was writing my observations, I looked out the window and noticed that someone was staring back at me. I quickly finished up my post and got up for a closer inspection. By the time I had everything packed up and put away, the person had walked right up to the window. The first thing I noticed about this person was their eyes. I don't know why, but whenever I think back to those moments, when our eyes met, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread. Their eyes were so full of fear and hatred and I just... I felt the same way I felt when I...




               



                                    maim


   



     Never mind.


     I was just... just scared, and I felt like... like I had to get out of there. So I grabbed my stuff, bolted out the door and went crashing through the cornfield. Several seconds after the fact, I came to the stunning realization that perhaps blindly running through the creepy cornfield might actually be a very bad idea. Luckily, I had only run a couple meters in so it would be very easy to just turn around and...


     Where the hell did the house go?


     Yeah, that didn't go as planned. I don't know how or why, but when I turned around to walk back, it was like I had run miles into the damn thing! The house was no where in sight, and there was no visible exit anywhere near by and... was it just me? No. I was certain the sun was not that low in the sky several seconds before! It was just morning! Now it's evening? TIME DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT


   
            slay



     So, here I am now, several hours(?) later; trapped in a never ending cornfield with nothing but the corn to keep me company. Oh, and did I mention it's dark? Because it's fucking dark. 

     



                                             DIE



  

     Ugh, I honestly thought that writing down everything that has gone on here would help me calm down a bit, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. This is definitely not good for my anxiety levels.



   Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that ever since I got here, I've heard nothing but screaming? Yeah. Nothing but endless lamentations for the past godknowshowmany hours. Many different voices too; I guess it adds variety. They also all sound really familiar; but I can't quite place where I've heard them before. Same thing goes with that person I saw before. He was so familiar. In fact, something about this whole place is really familiar, but I can't put my finger on where I've seen all of this, and quite frankly,





I really don't want to.

Weird Shit

     I'm held over in an abandoned farm house right now. Not sure where I am or how I got here, but I'm taking this time to relax for a day or so. Besides, I'm honestly creeped the fuck out by this corn field. Like, the wind is blowing, but it's not moving, like... I don't know. I wanna go outside to check it out, but I have a really bad feeling about it.

     I'll try to explain bit more when I'm not held over staring at the corn. I just know someth


there;s a person out there

Life On the Road

     I gotta say, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, sure I'm not really eating as much as I should anymore, and my life has certainly dropped in consistency levels (Y'know, not being able to have any contact with loved ones anymore). But despite that, I actually kinda like it. I love adventuring and discovering new places I've never been before, fighting to the death with untold horrors, knowing I could die at any minute. It's just so... thrilling! You'd think from previous events in my life that I'd be all adventured out (or not, considering I'm NEVER talking about that again), But I'm actually having a blast! Plus, I've been getting wondrous amounts of sleep since I left! I am a very happy camper indeed!

     Anyways, having said that, I still don't really have a good action plan just yet. As I've said before, I'm not all too fond of the idea of just running around like a headless chicken. Though I can guarantee that if I end up doing that, there is no chance in hell that I'm crossing the border. Canada is definitely a whole lot safer than the U.S since our police aren't corrupted.

 

     ...Well, they aren't corrupted by the Proxies, anyways.

   

     I was thinking of traveling over to Quebec and paying Migzer a visit. Though getting there would take quite a bit of time, considering the fact that I do not have a licence. I should probably head either in that direction or towards B.C anyways, since I hear the ocean is supposed to be safe or something. But the latter option would take a significantly longer time to get to, obviously. But the water is a lot warmer over there... hmmm... decisions, decisions.

     Oh well, I'm really not in any hurry. I guess for the time being I'll head in Migzers direction, and make B.C more of a long-term goal... Assuming I get there in one piece.

 

On the Move!

     Sorry folks, I know that I promised that I would post yesterday, but a couple of rather misfortunate events happened before I could.

     First off, not five minutes after I made my last post, the motel I was in was fucking swarmed with proxies. Or at least, I think it was. I just heard gunshots and a shit load of screaming throughout the building, so I just hightailed it out of there as soon as I could. I don't really know what happened, and I don't want to. I'm just glad I got a room with a window facing away from the street. I climbed out and took off down a (surprisingly long) dirt path.

     Well, as you can imagine, after that I was in no mood to actually see where my feet were taking me. I was just running as fast as I could, with a half-open backpack hanging from my shoulder. I didn't even realize where I had ended up until I got to the edge of a huge forest. I stopped and looked around for any alternative pathways out of my predicament, but I didn't have much time when I started to hear sounds of foot steps and shouting coming towards me. I decided it was time to have a little dance with fate, and booked it through the trees.

     Eventually, the sounds of running and shouting died down and I was pretty sure that I had given my pursuers the slip. Though, now there was another problem, and that of course was the fact that I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING FOREST. Not only that, but whilst in my state of panic, I decided that it was a good idea to get off the path and go bush-whacking instead. Luckily, I had stolen a pretty little blade from a friend of mine just for this type of situation. Unfortunately, I have about as much a sense of direction as one of those wind-up toy cars, so I was completely fucking lost. And a compass was, sadly, not on my list of things to bring when being hunted by psychopaths. Another problem was the fact that the sun was starting to go down, and it was about to get dark, really fast. And the denseness of the trees made the situation all the more worse.

     I could feel the panic starting to set in, and blundering my way through a dark forest was starting to sound more and more appealing as the minutes ticked by. I had to stop. I had to think. Think... think of it as a puzzle... Which problem to sort out first? I had no way of knowing which direction I was going, seemed like a good place to start.

     Figuring out puzzles has always been so calming to me. I'm really not sure why, but whenever I'm in a tough spot, I just think of it as a puzzle, organize all of the individual pieces, and put them into context by sorting them out in order.

     First puzzle problem; how do I figure out where I'm going? I wracked my brain for anything I knew about surviving in the wilderness.

     Well, start with the most basic. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west... The sun is currently setting... so most of the light is coming from behind me... And I clearly remember the sun was to my right when I got to the forest... So I came in from the north... I made a left turn when I got off the path...

     I jumped up from where I was sitting, turned around, and followed the sun back to the path. On my way, I noticed what an ample amount of destruction I had reigned as I had charged my way through there. Branches had been torn down, dirt kicked up, there was a really nice little pit in the ground where I had fallen during my mad scramble. Not to mention how freaking loud I must've been. Geez, I'm really lucky I got some distance from my pursuers before I tried that stunt. A whole small tree had been taken down whatisthisIdon'teven...

     Yes, well, I found the path again and I breathed a big sigh of relief. But I wasn't out in the clear yet, I mean, I couldn't go back the way I came. That was way too risky. I had to continue following the path southward until I found another exit. Luckily, despite my terrible sense of direction, I've spent a lot of time in forests in the duration of my short life, so I guess I had a bit of an advantage there.

     The path ended up twisting and turning a lot, so I got out on the east side as opposed to the south. Which is fine, plus the exit only took about twenty minutes to find, so I had managed to get out a little after dark.

     So, all in all, that probably could've gone a LOT worse. I feel VERY lucky to still have my skin and the rest of my organs in tact. Those were probably the most horrifying twenty minutes of my life. I mean, not knowing whether or not you're gonna survive... Knowing you could die at any minute... It's truly horrifying... And also very exciting at the same time. 

     Oh yes, and I didn't post yesterday because I was way too jumpy after that whole experience to stay at one place long enough to actually get something written. Don't worry though, things have calmed down quite a bit now, so I have time to figure out a strategy for myself that isn't just blindly running in all directions like a headless chicken.



     Until I come up with anything brilliant, I guess I'm done writing for today. Chow.

Now All the Really Bad Shit Happens

     I'm making this post from my laptop. I've left home. I know that i said I wouldn't, but I did.

     I've realized now that this is a problem that could end up with a lot more consequences besides just getting myself killed. I'm a threat to everyone that I care about. Everyone that I love. Just staying here and waiting for them to get infected, or risking them seeing him is the most selfish thing I could do. So I'm leaving.

     I realized this a couple days ago, when I was at my friends house. Now, since being stalked by Slendy doesn't exactly make you feel like you could take on the world, my friends have been rather concerned about the state of my mental health since this all began. They've constantly been questioning me on my sleeping habits, and have even gone as far as to asking me if someone's been abusing me or something. Luckily for me, it's a very easy topic to evade, as I don't normally go to my friends for advice on this kind of stuff anyways. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my friends to death, and I would trust them with my life! It's just that, when it comes to personal stuff like this, I tend to rely more heavily on myself than on others to solve the problem. 

     Anyways, while I was at my friends house I noticed that something seemed really wrong about her expression. I don't know, something just seemed... off. So I asked her about it, and all I got was "Oh, I'm just a little distracted today." So, I continued to pester her until she finally spoke, and what she said made me open my eyes (I mean, REALLY open my eyes) to how much of a danger I really was to her, and everyone else. 

     "Seriously, [Name removed], tell me what's wrong."

      She sighed and looked at the ground for a moment.

     "There's a man following you." 

      I could feel my mind and body completely freeze up. "What?" I asked.

      She repeated herself. 

     "There's a man following you." She pointed at the window, and there HE was. 

      He was just... there! 

     Just... standing there... watching. 

     Always watching.

     "How long have you been seeing him?" I asked, panicking. I had to know, for obvious reasons.

     "Oh. Just now. But he's been around you longer, hasn't he?" her voice was starting to change. "You've had the symptoms for about about a month now." She now completely stopped sounding like herself.

     "He's been following you. Watching. Waiting. He wants you to join him. But you refuse. Why? He just wants to be friends, Julia. He wants to help you. He can save you. He can save you from your past. Don't you want that? He can help you forget. You won't ever have to think about it again. You won't ever have to worry about her again. Don't you want that? He can get rid of her. Don't you want that? 

Don't you want that?"

     I was frozen. I didn't know what to say. I've never told anyone about that. About her. How did she? How did he...?

     I had to get him out of her head! 

     So, I did the only thing I could think of at the time. 

     I put my hands on her shoulders, and smiled.

     She smiled back.

     Then, I leaned back, and with all of my strength, crashed my forehead right into hers. She fell back, her head was bleeding. And I could feel a couple droplets forming on my forehead as well.

     But, surprisingly, it worked.

     "Ow! What the fu-? Julia? What happened?" 

     I decided that it was best for her if I left, so I told her I had to leave, and to go and get some sleep, because she obviously wasn't feeling too well. On my way out I could here her rush to the bathroom to presumably puke up that slender gunk.

     Yes, it's definitely time for me to go.

     Another thing that I've realized is that Slender Man is no longer the only threat I have to worry about. I went for a walk yesterday to clear my head, and I noticed I was being followed. I never really expected to be a target for proxies, but I guess now, I am. And at the state I'm in right now, I think they're a bigger problem to me than even Mr. Slim. I mean, last night, I had a couple of them actually break into my house just to watch me as I tried to get to sleep. One thing that I don't get, though, is why they haven't made any moves yet. I mean, I'm completely vulnerable. I'm not a very fast runner, I can't fight to save my life, and I doubt I could actually out smart them, even if they are mindless drones.

     I'm willing to bet it's because I'm not 'ready' yet. Seriously, ever notice that all the Runners have had to reach a certain point of desperation or insanity before they were actually attacked? I would assume so. It's not like it's a big secret at this point...

     *Ahem* Right, back on topic. 

     So, I've holed myself in a quaint little motel for the night (with what little money I have) so I could take some time to plan out a strategy, or figure out what the best course of action is to take. I'll probably post again either later tonight or tomorrow or whenever I have something figured out.

     

     Fuck, my head hurts.

Can't Sleep

     Not like that's new.

     I said I'd live it up until shit started hitting the fan, and I'd probably be dead by then, so I really wasn't too convinced I was ever going to be really posting again. But hell, my thoughts are more jumbled than a desecrated rubix cube, so I figured I might as well write down a couple of things.


     I haven't had much sleep as of late, so I'm sorry if this isn't exactly coherent.


     I can't convince myself that this creature was just always there. I can't lead myself to believe that all mythological monsters are just... real. I mean, I know that Slendy obviously is, but... there's no such thing as the monster under the bed, right? I mean, come on people! We learned this when we were 5 year-olds! And I've been reading a whole bunch of crazy shit going on with the other bloggers too, what with all the rising from the grave, inter-demential travel, dream-riding, yadda yadda yadda yadda.

     I'm sorry guys but, get it together! Monsters don't just appear out of no where! Someone had to have planned it, right? And I'm pretty certain that all this talk about magic and fairy tales is what's driving these people to believe that they're in some sort of Loop, or they have acquired some sort of magical powers, or have been deluded into thinking they can actually stop this thing. This whole structure on how this issue is perceived is driving everyone into madness! Because if Slendy can do it, why not us, right?

     So, good people. I believe that it is high time to get our heads out from under the ground and look at this from a more realistic standpoint.


     I'm pretty sure that Slenderman and all the other Fears roaming around and terrorizing the planet are a bunch of experiments conducted by the U.S government that have gone completely wrong.


     I don't have much going on this theory quite yet, besides the sheer obvious and glaring fact that the U.S government is doing nothing to stop this, while other countries seem to remain completely clueless.

     I mean, think about it! Why are they doing nothing to stop this thing? I'm pretty sure that their reasoning lies far beyond just wanting to observe it and all that bullcrap! And if they were doing that, why not let the rest of the world's governments in on it too? Why does Parliament, here in Canada, have no clue as to what's going on? Why are the U.S officials so content to just sit back and watch while so many people are being brutally slaughtered, and only ever lifting a finger to keep everyone quiet about it?

     Well, it's obvious isn't it? They're testing their secret weapon of war on us! Remember the first Slenderblog? Just Another Fool. The dude's friend was in the military! They were testing the goddamn thing on their own goddamn troops, then it got outta hand when people started blogging about it, sharing the freaking operating symbols all over the internet, and infecting anyone who dare research it!

     You guys wanna know how Slendy was 'born' into this world? My theory is that the U.S government decided they need something stronger than the atomic bomb. They wanted to send a message to whomever dared challenge and/or oppose them. And one night, one of their 'higher ups' (most likely FISK) was bored of jerking off on the internet and decided to look up some spooky stories. That's when he came across Something Awful, and decided to share the story with the boys in the science department, and they figured that maybe the idea would be good for a couple of laughs. One experiment gone horribly wrong (or horribly right) later, and you got good ol' Slendy. And I'm pretty sure this is how the other Fears were created too. But that's as far as I'm gonna suspend my disbelief, people. I'm pretty sure that all this talk about dimensional Loops and shit are just figments of a poor Runners hallucinations.

     As for the Proxies, well... As I said (or, at least, I think I did), this is a work in progress so not everything is going to be air-tight. Like those weird ancient Brazilian drawings and stuff... Though I'm pretty sure that those are just coincidental.

    Anyways, I think it's high time for me to kiss Slendy goodnight and try desperately to get some shut-eye in preparation for yet another boring and uneventful day. (SO peeved that I can't go to ConBravo tomorrow)


Goodnight!

A Nifty Guide to Help Runners Not Die

     As I was going through the blogs, I noticed that everyone seems determined to help their fellow Runners stay alive. Now, I wouldn't consider myself a Runner, nor a Fighter. I'm really more of a piddling little girl who is pretty much fucked when the time comes for the shit to hit the fan. And even though I've found myself teetering on the idea of getting involved with the other bloggers due to the sheer fact that I just really hate people, I still feel like it's my duty to offer this one little pinch of advice. Mostly because I'd feel like a bit of an ass if I didn't.

     "So, what is this revolutionary idea that is sure to shake the foundations of the planet and make this war that much more winnable?" you may ask. Well first off, allow me to titty-slap you for the sake of hilarity. Secondly, I want to point out that this is not any sort of fighting advice, and it has a lot of down sides to it. It's just...

     Fuck, I hate writing intros, I always get carried away. I'll just get to the point.

     Basically, my idea for the Runners (and proxies, if you wish; I'm not taking sides) is for them to change their sleep schedule so that they're sleeping for a less amount of time, and spending more time fighting/running. I'd say you should sleep for about... 20-30 minutes every four to five hours.

     I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But it actually works! Let me explain:

     This is called the Uberman Sleep Schedule. Basically, it will help you get your REM sleep immediately so that you won't have to waste hours in an unrestful sleep, and it will give the enemy less of a chance to sneak up on you (plus it should help a bit with that nightmare problem that Runners tend to have). Basically, just set your alarm for half an hour after your planned bed time and you're ready to go! And then you just wait four hours, and repeat. Most people usually only get an hour and a half of REM sleep each night, while this sleep schedule will give you about 2 hours of it. So basically, you'll be getting even more rest than your average Joe, and will inevitably be able to operate a lot more efficiently.

     Now, there is a slight down side to this, nothing is perfect after all. For the first week and a half or so, you're gonna be, like, super sleep deprived. Unless you're some sort of super monkey hybrid, your brain is not going to adapt to this right away, and you will therefore not be getting any REM sleep. You may also begin to hate your life. But fear not! Once your brain agrees to go along with your new agenda, you'll be glad it did.

Aaaaand... that's all I got. I hope it helps someone out there. I don't plan on surviving this for very long, so this is really the least I can offer to the community.


Chow for now.

Well... This Escalated Quickly...

CHANGE OF PLAN. CHANGE OF FUCKING PLAN. CHANGE FUCKING EVERYTHING.



     ... Mainly cause I can't sleep, and I am bored. But also because I've found with my old setup, I was giving WAAAY too much away. My real name, what I look like, my home phone, my email (well, that's still up), my cell phone number, my home address, my social security number... you get the idea. I also changed my blog name and shit like that, just for the helluvit. Still, blogger has this annoying thing of not applying all my new information to my old posts and comments. Fuck. Well, I guess I had it coming.

     Heh...

     And here I was convinced that it was all just a game. A bunch of fools roleplaying that I just had to get involved with. Well, who's the fool now?

     If I'm being honest, I can say that this actually isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, all he does is stare. I know that's supposed to, like, drive me insane with fear and suspense or something, but really; It's not like he's gonna hurt me or anything (yet), so I really have no reason to be scared. It's actually rather awkwardly comforting.

     I'm sure it's no secret by now (to whomever may be reading this) that this blog was supposed to be a fake. I took the whole Slender Man thing as kind of a game; something to occupy my time during my boring-ass summer and those few lonely after-school hours (as you can imagine, I don't have many friends). So imagine my surprise when I opened my window for some fresh air; I drew back my curtains and just saw him... staring. I think I let out a quiet (and rather comical) 'meep', promptly closed my curtains and backed onto my bed, still staring at his silhouette.

     I'm actually a bit disappointed that he's real, in a kinda weird way. I mean, I had a whole story planned out that revolved around tarot cards and me being an emotionless badass whose personality consisted of rock music and not being afraid of things (See: Hyperbole and a Half). Oh well, no better story than the one you're living in, right? Is that a popular saying? It should be.


     Anyways, I'm not to concerned about my situation at the moment. And I'm pretty sure that's a good thing... For now. Well, until things start escalating, I'm gonna fucking live up what little time I have left, cause Slendy only knows when my life is gonna go to shit and when I'm gonna get thrown in the looney bin with all the other shatterpated slenderstalked, y'know?

WHAT THE FUCK??? GETTHEFCUKAWAYFORMMYWINDWO SOMOENE GETHELPGETHELPGETHELPGETHELP OH GODOHGO D I DONT WANT TO DIE

CANTLOOKAWYAstopfuckingstaring whydo you have to fucking STARE? WhyTHe FUCK is this HAPPENING?

Change of Perspective

I kinda realized that I jumped into this whole shebang rather recklessly. With everything else I was destined to fail at, I've thrown myself in head-first not knowing which way was up. So, to take a few precautions, I've decided that immediately aligning myself with the Runners was a poor choice. For now, I think I'm going to remain unaligned as long as Slendy isn't currently haunting me; it also opens the doors for more research. After all, no Runner wants to comply with a Proxy sympathizer, and no Proxy wants to comply with a Runner sympathizer. And it's just easier for my already cluttered teen mind to operate.

Though I'm sure I will change my mind again in a week or so. Such is the mind of an attention-seeking sixteen-year-old struggling to find an identity. But until that happens, I think I'll be spending a lot more time on the blogs now, appreciating my new freedom.

Chow for now.

Intro and Tarot Cards

Figured I'd share a bit more with whatever viewers I may have here. I kinda realized that the information I gave about myself in my first post was mostly just fodder for your common internet pervert. So, I suppose if I'm ever going to get any kind of audience, they'd want to know a little more about the naive little girl who is trying to tell them what to do.

But before I begin, I just want to get one little thing off of my chest.

Before I posted my very first blog on here, I had read a bit of Seeking Truth and Make it Count, I was also an avid follower of MarbleHornets and stuff like that. But that was it. I really had no intention of getting myself wrapped up in this, regardless of my poor habit of sticking my nose where ought not be stuck. And I suppose I could come up with this grand story of how I decided to start my blog. I could say I had a sudden epiphany and threw caution to the winds in order to offer help to those who needed it and yadda yadda yadda...

Yeah, so the punchline is, I was completely drunk. Like, I'm talking hard-core shit-faced (don't look at me that way). I'm just thankful my perfectionist nature wasn't effected by the poison I had injected into my brain and I managed to actually form semi-coherent sentences. Though, I still find it a little hard to read for how overly-dramatic it is...

And to anyone who happens to read this and is a little worried about my poor habits, I'll have you know that I was taught I very good lesson the following day in hangovers, and I don't think I'm ever touching the stuff again.

Anyways, more about me. Well, hmm... not much worth mentioning. I'm really just your average teenager, struggling to find an identity. I've gone through several "phases" in my life, currently choosing to be an edgy punk-rocker. So far, my favourite style; I do love heavy metal, power metal more specifically. Basically, just picture your classic hard-core drummer girl and that's me in a nutshell. Or just take a quick glance at my profile picture. Either one.

On a side note, I also enjoy painting and acting. I really enjoy the Arts but I'm pretty sure trying to pursue a career in any of them would be a very bad idea. So I'm planning to either get a major in psychology, philosophy, anthropology, or sociology. I guess they really are all the same thing when it boils down to it; besides philosophy, of course. Though I only want a major in philosophy so I can write a book about it... eventually.

Now, as for my discovery of Slenderman, that started with a friend of mine, Jane (name changed, obviously). She was complaining to me about how the wits were scared right out of her and her brother, and how neither of them could sleep for a week. So I, having nerves of steel despite my overactive imagination, questioned her about it and she pointed me in the direction to Marble Hornets. I was so interested by the concept of this Slenderman creature, that I did a little bit of extra research on it. I look into Creepy Pasty, Know Your Meme, Wikipedia (I know, I know), and I eventually found myself reading a few blogs. Starting with Just Another Fool, then Damien's blog, then Zeke's, then Celeste's, then Zero's, then M's, and so on.

Then, one night I decided that I was depressed and was in desperate need of an alcohol, so I downed about half a bottle of Irish whiskey and got completely hammered. Woke up the next morning in front of my computer screen with my newly published blog staring me in the face. I of course immediately regretted it, but felt that it would be rather cowardly to just take it down, plus the idea of starting my own Slenderblog was a rather intriguing idea.

So, after a couple months of pondering the subject (granted, I WAS rather busy with other things), I have decided that I might as well continue what I've started whilst in my drunken stupor. And although I hadn't posted much on the blogs, I had been doing a lot behind the scenes, as I've mentioned before.

Also, after flipping through the notebook that Elaine had posted last year, I thought about all the superstitious mumbo-jumbo that my mother always talks about, and it got me thinking; Well, if I believe Slendy is real, then why not take it a step further? So I pulled out the tarot cards that I got for my 16th birthday. I figured I needed some sort of motivation to keep me going, and I'm not the best decision maker when it comes to big things such as... well, risking my own life for the sake of people I barely know... not that I mean to offend anyone. I'm sure you're all lovely.

So I decided to look into how to "Do the Tarot" I guess it would be called, and I found I fairly reasonable set up for decision making. I asked myself in my deepest heart of hearts if I should continue Slenderblogging. For anyone who cares, this is how it went:


Card 1                                         Card 3                           Card 4                                     Card 2
What would happen if I          An important aspect         The most important thing to   What would
didn't                                                                                consider                        happen if I did



So I guess you have to lay down the cards in the order of the numbers or something. I don't get why it can't just be in basic 1-2-3-4 order, but whatever. So, for anyone who's interested, this is what I got:

Card 1- Knight of Cups
If I put the meaning of the card into context with the set up, I guess it would mean that if I do not pursue this, than I would be giving up "The Water of My Soul," which is, I guess, my hunger for the truth. Which makes sense, I guess. I am a nosy little bugger when it comes down to it.

Card 2- The 10 of Wands
I'm pretty sure this one means that if I choose to pursue the truth behind Slendy, I'm going to be over-burdened. Which also makes sense, I guess. I do have a habit of putting myself up to challenges far beyond my level of capability. And I'm obviously going to be under great pressure to succeed because, well, I guess I would kinda die if I don't...

Card 3- The Two of Wands
The description of this card, I thought, fits my situation the best. It's basically saying that I'm "still protected by my encircled walls" and "I'm casting my gaze into the depths of the Universe" and "I'm laying my plans with care" which is an important aspect of this, I guess. I mean, do I really want to give up this safety? But I've already laid out my plans, and it's not like I totally hate the idea of being on the run, seeing the world with whole new eyes, adventuring to places I've never been before... but I digress. This is Slenderman we're talking about, after all.

Card 4- The Three of Wands
I really don't think I shuffled the deck enough. Three Wand cards, two in a row. a little too coincidental, but whatever. I'm pretty sure this card is telling me that the most important thing about this decision is that I AM open to change. Which is, once again, true. But it also says I should take my time and "listen to the winds" which I guess could only mean the warnings the Runners keep harping at me about, so... that's a thing. And I will "follow the waters that will carry my vessel to new shores" or something like that. Again, all the adventure stuff.

So... yeah. That's what I got from those cards. Though I find things like these are only handy to those with overly active imaginations, such as myself. I could very well be making it all up in my head, but who knows, really? What I do know is, for the time being, I'll stick to finding out as much as I can about this situation. And if it turns out that I get targeted, than so be it. And if it turns out people are actually reading this, than feel free to voice your opinion.

Chow for now.

Gibberish

So, the past couple of weeks have been pretty weird for me. I talked to a couple more Runners who came through here, and I noticed a general pattern.

"Don't get involved."

Every single one I've talked to has said those exact words in the same exact tone.

I find it very interesting that, despite being hounded by proxies and Mr. Slender, Runners seem to be a lot more concerned about the welfare of the unaffiliated. I really can't believe that this hasn't been addressed yet, but in all regards, thanks!

But anyways, going against any and all of those warnings, I've been using a lot of my free time to find out as much as I can about Slenderman (would you consider that one word, or two?), and reading blogs of Runners, whether they're dead or alive, trying to find a pattern in how they've survived, or died. So far, I'm still keeping to my theory that keeping a positive attitude and staying strong is the best way to tackle this situation...

Good God, I'm starting to sound like one of those overly-happy youth care workers.

But honestly, ever notice that the Runners who were killed by Slenderman himself seemed to have reached the point of complete insanity. Given, they had pretty much lost everything they held dear, and having ol' Faceless staring at them for days on end may have been a little hard on the psyche...

Ok, I'm clearly not getting anywhere with this. Let me just sum up what I think the best course of action would be for those being hunted:

1. Follow M's rules, but as it has been said, don't rely on them.

2. Venting your Slendy-related frustrations to loved ones is a HORRIBLE idea. Best to keep them out of it.

3. Regardless of whether you cared about them or not, Proxies are NOT humans. Their psyches have been warped to do His bidding. There's no getting them back. It would be easier for everyone if you just get rid of them when you get the chance.

4. Unless you think you're equipped to take him on, it would be best if you find the highest place you can, and just wait out the Solstice. Not everyone needs to be a hero when Slendy is at His worst.

Annnnnd that's all I have for now. It's not much, I may even just be stating the obvious, but hey, it's something. And if any wandering Runner happens upon this blog, and by the off chance finds help in it, then great! If not, well, at least it's something.

Like I've said before, I'm not Running, I'm not being hunted by Slenderman and his minions. I'm just your average kid trying to make a difference.

Just for a little fun

This popped up in my subscription box on youtube. It was definitely worth a few laughs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZMBG4Pn3Sg&feature=g-u-u

Our Fallen Hero

I... I really don't know what to say.

He was in it 'till the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwOI0oKCR-w&feature=player_embedded

Long Time, No See

    Hey everyone!

    Yes, I'm still alive. No, Slender Man hasn't gotten to me yet. I've just been busy with school and other things that you probably don't care about.

     As I said in my previous post, I doubt Slender Man is interested in me, which is why I haven't been targeted yet. Perhaps he doesn't even know I exist, and I can subtly take him out from the shadows...

     But I highly doubt that.

     Slender Man has been described by multiple people as a seemingly omnipresent being (besides the whole heights thing), so I have no doubt in my mind that he's well aware of my existence, and he's just biding his time, waiting for me to make the wrong move; which is another reason why I haven't posted in so long.

     I like to keep myself hidden from view, like a thief working in the shadows. So instead I chose to come at this issue from a less... obvious approach. Because let's face it; I'm certain all of the proxies and what not have basically turned these blogs into their own person To Do list. Following our movements and using it to pluck each and every one of us off one by one. Honestly, the only reason I'm on here is to to deliver my message of hope to everyone, and try to keep our numbers high enough to eventually overwhelm Him.

     So, behind the scenes, I've been doing a couple of things to find out more about Slender Man and the proxies. Looking for any reference to Him in history books, going other other blogs, trying to find and patterns in His movements and whatnot. And I've also been able to identify a couple of Runners in my area and hold interviews with them. I'm a generally friendly person, so I always find myself conversing with a lot of the homeless around here anyways.

     During one little talk I had with one of them (we'll just call him John Doe for now), I mentioned my fascination with a slender, timeless being who enjoys spending His free time tracking people down and killing them. John seemed rather put off by this at first, but as the conversation dragged on, I came to realize that him and Slendy were more than just familiar with each other.

John: So, refresh my memory, what did you say this guy does?

Me: He tracks people down and kills them. Plain and simple

John: Is that really all?

Me: Well, he has followers...

John: Followers...?

Me: Yes, some people call the The Hallowed. I prefer the term Proxy myself. They like to do His bidding. You can usually spot them by their...

John: White masks and soulless eyes?

Me: Erm... yes. Have you heard of them?

John: ... What did you say this guys name was again?

Me: Er... well, He doesn't really have a name, but people usually call him Slender Man.

     At this point, John kind of stared at me and looked down at his feet. He would look up at me a couple of times, as if he really wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words to say them. So I did for him.

Me: Are you a Runner, John?

John: A what now?

Me: A Runner. It's a term for someone being chased by... Him.

John paused for a moment. I was afraid he had begun to cry, but then he looked up to the sky, as if asking for strength and finally said;

John: ... He killed my best friend. He nearly killed my sister. I knew that the longer I stayed, the more
likely He was to go after more. I had to leave. I had to run.

Me: Has He found you yet?

John: I doubt there's been a time when He hasn't known where I was. Every time I try and start fresh, there He is again. It's as if He's...

Me: Waiting until you've completely broken down?

John: ... Yeah.

Me: Don't let Him John. Show Him that you are strong, and are not to be messed with. Slendy feeds off despair and pain. He plays with His food, weakens it until there is no shell of hope left to protect them. Don't let Him break you down John. You have so many reasons to live. Don't forget that.

     John gave me a weak smile and muttered something I couldn't quite hear, but I think it was "I know."

     Something about that conversation really sparked something in me. I don't know what it was, but I feel like a whole new person now. It showed me that I have the power to bring hope to others when they feel that there is none left. Hell, anyone can!

     Unfortunately, human beings are notoriously weak when it comes to this sort of stuff. Anything could come along and take our hope from us. It only takes one small switch and then we feel as if we mean nothing to the world. Which is why we need each other more than anything.

     You are special. Your life is worth living. You can defeat Him.